The Psychomet Juander Diary

  W hen a girl lives independently for a long time and did not experience having a real relationship, it will be a big adjustment on her part to be with someone.  She will crawl her way learning how to handle a relationship and learning the cycle of how to be in a relationship. But is there a difference between the two? Is there a step on how to handle a relationship and how to be in a relationship?  These kind of questions had me thinking at one in the afternoon. I just finished my lunch and I am sitting in front of the window drinking my coffee contemplating, when these questions about relationship suddenly pop up on my mind and I can't help myself but wonder;  what it feels like to have a relationship? or what does falling in love feels like? But then, when I begun thinking of the negative sides of having a relationship or falling in love per se, I started to back down. Why? Well, I am the kind of person who is thirsty of adventure, who loves being independent and...

L ast month as I was busy processing my requirements, I decided to drop by in National Bookstore to buy some school materials. And being a book lover that I am, I cannot avoid not dropping by the novel/book section of NBS. So I came across this book by Mr. Mark Mason titled, "The subtle Art of not giving a Fuck" that talks about living a good life. I t helps me view things in a different manner and in a way helped me realized the bad and the good things that i personally witnessed not only to the people that I knew, but I've also experienced it first hand. You know, hearing things that are not pleasant to the ears, seeing things that is not in linear to what you believe in and lastly, disregarding what other people would say to you are all easier said than done. It came to a point that I became self conscious to how I look to other people. If what I am saying is right or not? or am I good enough?  Somehow, I became a totally different person when I am in front of other p...

D o you know the feeling of drowning? You want to swim or to float to save yourself, however, it is choking you? Did you somehow feel that kind of desperation? To ask for help? expecting that someone will appear to remove you in the water?  Or to stay above the water to breathe?   That is what it feels like when you are being rejected or when you failed, even though you know that you work hard for it, but still, you did not get it and you can't do anything about it. That kind of situation will not only lessen the confidence that you have built, but it feels like you are being ripped out of yourself. Or in other words, you are slowly loosing your self with the feeling of rejection---the shame and the sadness.  Nevertheless, do you know what I've realized after those bittersweet failures that I've experienced?  " T hat it is okay to fail over and over, because that's normal.                          ...

T his trip happened 2 years ago and one of the things that I've wanted to do before I turned 25 is to travel alone or become a solo joiner in a trip of strangers.    If you must know, I grew up in a strict and traditional family. So all the things that I wanted to do and where I wanted to go should be approved by them. That's why, this trip is memorable to me. It feels like I am Independently free to do things without inhibitions. However, before I decided to do this adventure. My safety and the place that I wanted to visit are my number one concern, because I will be a solo joiner in a group of strangers. So after I decided that I wanted to go to Mount Pinatubo, of course, I look for a trusted travel agency, read the reviews of the previous travelers/joiners and then, I contacted them to learn more about the details of the trip. And I think, it is one of the best decision that I probably made on that year. As I've said, I am a solo joiner so I really don't know anyone...