How She Fight For Her Dream

"Rejection is merely a redirection, a course correction to your destiny." - Mr. Bryant McGill 

Last year, so many things happened and it is one of the darkest moment that happened to me. A bad memory that I really wanted to forget, but at the same time a lesson and an eye opener experienced that I wanted to treasure. Regardless of what happened, life goes on, so we also need to move forward. And one of the things that I did is when I take a leap of faith to a new journey.

What happened feels like a heartbreak. I got my heart broken, but not by a person. But by a lost dream. I thought, there is no hope. But then I realized, "wala namang nangarap na hindi nasaktan", just the same when you fell in love, "walang nagmahal na hindi nasaktan". So in order for you to enjoy the feeling of victory you need to know the feeling of pain, of loosing to appreciate its value. 

It feels like pain is the answer and a way to a successful life, love and career. We all learned from the pain that we experienced. We become a strong person because of pain and we used pain as a motivation to fight.

Like what Ms. Margaret Thatcher said, "you may have to fight the battle more than once to win it."

So, how did I move on from that PAIN?

A question that is so easy to asked and easy to elaborate the things that you need to do, but very difficult to apply.

Yes, I suffered in silence and I survived in silence. 

However, as much as possible NO ONE SHOULD SUFFER IN SILENCE. Never, ever suffer in silence. I know, I don't have the right to tell this but NO ONE should dictate us on what we need to do. Aside from the fact that we have a different coping style and what works for me, may or may not take effect or work on you. 

"It should start from you, on how you will help yourself cope up with it. You need to listen to yourself. Don't run away from it, instead embrace the pain and love the process of healing on your own or with the help of other's."

You don't need to conform to other people's expectation neither to validate yourself to them. If you want to isolate yourself for the meantime, you can do that. Do what makes you feel comfortable and I am glad that my family is always there to support and remind me about the good side of what happened. I am also grateful for the learnings and lessons that 2020 gave me. 

I pondered to some of it and because of those realizations, I was able to gather my confidence back. Let go of what happened and again, ready to fight for that dream. The dream that I thought was lost and shattered.

To other people, this may seem exaggerated but to a goal oriented person; rejection or failure is their number one enemy. So I diverted my attention and focused on other things to cope up with the pain that I am feeling. One of it is through writing. It helps me express what I am thinking and feeling for that moment.

By the way, do you know that writing is considered a therapy?

Yes, you read that right. According to PostivePsychology.com, "writing therapy or journal therapy can help the user to propel their personal and emotional growth." It is proven effective for many different conditions and has therapeutic benefits even for individuals suffering for mental illnesses. 

Moving on, what do I love about Isolating myself once in awhile?

• Well first, I have the time to re-evaluate myself, clear my mind and get my focus on tract that was temporarily disrupted. 

• Second, I have the time to understand myself more, giving myself some self-love and self-care that it needed even for a short period of time. 

• Lastly, I also learned how to limit myself in using my phone or checking my social media accounts, rather I gave myself the time to read a new book, enroll myself to a free online courses and watch news/ documentaries to educate myself.

On the other hand, some people may not be aware that sometimes, we also have this tendency to be closed off if something good or bad happened to us. Others also love to privately celebrate it first, before they share the news to their family or to other people. And I am one of those people. I somehow wanted to treasure the moment and the feeling first before I will share it to them. 

Alright, going back to my story... 

On our final interview in my application, one of the common question that is being asked to the applicants is, "why did you apply in this service?" Same question that my uncle asked me when I informed my family about my decision and before I push through with my application. 

So, what is the reason?

            Why in this organization?

Only few friends or colleagues knew that I am interested in Forensic Psychology. However, it is not yet well known here or rather, it is an emerging field in our country. Thus, not all state, colleges and universities offer the course may it be for undergraduate or in graduate school in the Philippines. With this, some registered psychology professionals who are interested in forensic either push through in the field of Law to become a Lawyer. Or get an MA in Psychology to become a Psychologist so they can work in the forensic setting like apply in any other branches of PNP/AFP/NBI.

So to those who are curious to know more about this and why I am interested in this profession, here it goes: 

But before we proceed to my story, to better understand it, let me discuss first the meaning of Forensic Psychology and its function/practice.

What is Forensic Psychology ?

According to studies by Ms. M. Mauro Psy. D of Psychology Today, 

"Forensic psychology is the interaction of the practice or study of psychology and the law.             Psychologists interested in this line of applied work may be found working in prisons, jails, rehabilitation centers, police departments, law firms, schools, government agencies, or in private practice, to name a few."

WHO encourages me to apply? 

Technically most of my family members worked in the PNP/AFP field, so even when I was still in college and after I graduated they keep on encouraging me to why not try applying. If you must know, I am a shifter which means that my first course was different to what I finished. And the person who introduced and subtly recommended the Psychology course to me was my Uncle. 

One time, when we are trying to discuss my first course - I don't know what happened, but the discussion suddenly takes a new turn and resulted for me to enroll Psychology, instead of continuing to enroll my first course. Because, they somehow think that someday I will apply and be part of the organization that they are currently working. Which I did not considered before, since, my plan is to work and study abroad, because Forensic Psychology is in demand and well known in other country. But then, change is really the constant thing in this world and I think my family really knew me so well, than me knowing myself. So they are right, family knows best. Despite the changes in my plans, I am ready and prepared to welcome and embrace the changes or challenges that will come for this new career journey. 

Going back to the reason why I apply?

Aside from the fact that I was influenced by my family members who are in the service. I was also inspired by my brother during the pandemic where all the branches of PNP/AFP and all our medical professionals serves as a Front Liner. It actually open my eyes about the current situation that our country is facing. And since, the organization are in need of medical courses, I decided to send my application and pursue my plan in the field that I really wanted and that is to become a future Military Psychologist here in my Country. 

No, this is not just a walk in the park nor an impulsive decision on my part. The application process from day 1 until the last day of your application will not only exhaust you physically, mentally and emotionally, but it will also exhaust you financially. So you need to prepare and train yourself if you decided to also be part of this organization. Because in the end, it will all be worth it. 

So the things that I realized when you are fighting for your dreams are:

• Never give up on yourself. Because if you loose your motivation and your passion, you will eventually loose yourself.

• Never give up on your journey. Yes, it will be a long and rough road, but don't loose your focus and continue what you started. Always keep in mind that we will never have a straight career journey, it is either a curve or a zigzag road that awaits us, before we reach the finish line. 

• Never give up on your dreams. Keep on listing the things that you wanted to achieve and believe in yourself that someday you will all reach it. 

That is why,

turn your pain into power, because the pain that you are feeling will help you become a strong person. That will serve as your bulletproof to all the negative things that will be thrown your way. So enjoy the ride because it will be a long, long trip before you reach your destination.  

Now, I am part of the Philippine Airforce as a Military Health Worker. 

This is just the first step of my journey, because I believe that I will eventually reach the top of my goal step by step. And I will continue to fight for my dreams. 

So believe in yourself and have faith in your dreams!

What about you? How did you fight for your dream? share your thoughts in the comment section below. Thank you!

Disclaimer: This is my own point of view and experiences. If you somehow feel offended because of the content, I apologize. I don't mean any negative vibes here, I just wanted to share my experienced and what I did to pull myself out on those situations. 

By the way, the photos are edited - I don't have my own GOU that time so thanks to photoshop they were able to make me look like I am actually wearing the uniform.